When I first saw my wife, I was certain she would kill me.

As I was hiding behind a tree, she didn’t notice me at first, and, awestruck, I watched her under the full moon. Her long, black claws gutted the deer carcass with the ease of a butcher’s knife, and the sound of tearing flesh echoed through the dark forest as she ate. Sticky blood matted the short, jet black fur around her muzzle. She leaned to the left as she ate, compensating for a front right leg that was missing below the elbow joint.

Easing an ache in my back, I shifted. A twig snapped under my heel, exploding in the still night. Her ears twitched. In a single lunge, she trapped me against the rough bark, catching my throat in her claws. Stretching to her full height, she towered two heads over me. The sickly scent of blood was overpowering. Her irises, a blazing gold, bore into me as she bared her fangs. 

She was fearsome. She was terrifying. She was beautiful.

My heart pounded in my chest, my magic swirled at my fingertips. But, even as she squeezed, my life receding, I raised my arms in a caress, surrendering. The werewolf’s head tilted to the side. Excitement and dread knotted together in my guts.

“Trust me,” I whispered.

Hidden by the trees, a world away, sounds arouse from the estate: the squeak of carriage wheels, the snorting of horses, the clop of their hooves on our cobblestone drive. The werewolf looked over her shoulder, and her ears pressed against her head.

“I won’t tell,” I breathed. “Go.”

She studied me for a long moment. Finally, she turned away, picking up the deer carcass and heading deeper into my family’s wood.

#

The party would not be ignored, like a scratching burr. I hurried to the manor in a most undignified manner, laughing the entire way. A quick spell removed dirt from my wine-dark dress, and I ensured my cornrow braids were still neatly in their buns. A conjuration of witchfire blazed about my forehead, curling into a lilac crown. With a deep, centering breath, I cleansed myself of the joy of discovery, and set aside my own desires. Prepared to subject myself once more to my parents’ endeavors, I entered my home. 

Bright was all I saw of the antechamber as I squinted against bejeweled splendor. Mother was personally greeting guests. Her locs, swept to one side and clasped with gold, bounced as she laughed at someone’s quip. The lights played off her bright yellow dress, making it shimmer, and her black skin was a touch of midnight. When I approached, she kissed the air around my cheek, and I returned the gesture. She would have preferred physical contact, but polite society demanded otherwise. I smiled at her as she appraised me and found naught to be lacking.

“Go mingle,” she gently ordered, gesturing toward the main hall. “Help your father.”

I moved past the grand oak doors, admiring the enchanted woodwork that swirled as if still alive. A dragon roaring, a wyvern’s wings beating, a werewolf howling. My heart skipped, and I schooled my emotions before my face could flush.

There are many ways in which one can describe an opulent party. Boring, dull, and tedious are just a few of those ways. 

Once in the main hall, the conversation crescendoed, ringing in my ears. Guests gossiped as servants appeared from behind marble pillars to refill champagne glasses or offer hor d'oeuvres. I drifted through the crowds like a first daughter should. A compliment here, a tinkling laugh there, and just a sprinkle of plans I would only grudgingly follow through on. Faking niceties was a learned skill I had mastered to survive. All it took was separating myself from my physicality: I became a puppeteer, and my body the marionette. I knew my part, and chanced a glance with my father. He inclined his head, silver witchfire circlet glowing, and praised me with a ghost of a smile. 

Just as I was to greet him, a sweaty hand caressed my bare shoulder. My muscles tensed at the contact. A dozen emotions threatened to overtake me, and I mentally sidestepped, watching them pass by. Not even my own mother could touch me here, so who- 

High Lord Greer Barbatus. Father never told me that the High Lord of the Spellcasting Society would be in attendance. His rank demanded respect and allowed for lax observation of social manners. I held my discomfort apart from me like it was a little biting goblin. Batting my eyelashes, I conjured a smile. Barbatus flourished, and in his hand appeared a stunning bouquet of purple roses. He bowed, only slightly, as he presented them to me.

“High Lord,” I breathed, feigning the correct amount of awe and pleasant surprise as I took them, and bowed deeply. “Such pretty flowers! You are entirely too thoughtful.”

“The pleasure is mine,” he replied, taking a handkerchief and dabbing at his sweating face and neck. “I heard of you, Lady Salena, but not once did my imagination come close to capturing your true beauty.” As he spoke to me, gravity seemed to drag his eyes to the level of my breasts. “I had to see you for myself.”

I manufactured a titter, feeling bile in my throat. Knowing where his interest lay, I puppetted myself to spin about, and my dress fluttered around my ankles. “You are too kind, High Lord,” I replied, moving the bouquet over my chest as a flimsy shield.

High Lord Barbatus laughed like a boar, high-pitched and squealing. Before our conversation could continue, a bell sounded signaling the feast. A potential escape. But his hot, moist hand placed itself on my bare back, and he pulled me so close I could smell the grease he used to slick his combover to the side. “We will be sitting together, I’m sure,” he said, guiding me. His hand slid down to the small of my back, fingers groping against my hips. “I’m excited for this opportunity for you to better acquaint yourself with me.”

That sounded just a bit too unpleasant. I pretended to faint, and collapsed on the floor.

#

When I awoke the next morning, the lead butler introduced a new maid who would be attending to my needs. Her skin was jet black. Her short hair was obsidian. Her eyes were blazing gold. She was missing her right arm, just below the elbow. 

“Miss Reese has requested to attend to your needs today, Your Ladyship,” the lead butler droned. “But if she is incapable of some of the more complicated tasks, you need only fetch me.”

“Why is she incapable?” I asked as I got out of bed.

The lead butler sniffed and his eyes fell askance to Reese’s missing arm.

Reese’s expression was carefully guarded, as if a mirror was inserted behind her eyes to reflect away from her soul. Her left hand was held behind her back as she stared forward. 

“Are you incapable, Miss Reese?”

“I am not,” came the even reply.

“There you have it.” I waved to the door. “She will attend to all my needs. You are dismissed.”

The lead butler bowed and retreated from the room. The door clicked shut, and the silence lingered as we both studied each other. Her wild hair didn’t fit with the tidy maid uniform, as it attempted to escape the confines of the white hairband. 

“So?” I asked, smoothing out my nightdress. My heart was racing. “Help me dress, please.”

Reese moved quietly, gathering my day gown as I moved behind a screen to shed my clothes. 

“A question, if I may.” Reese hesitated.

“Only if I get one in return.”

“Why not use magic to dress yourself? It creates lights, trinkets out of nothing, more than I can think to name, and yet I am the one tightening your bodice.”

I slipped on my undergarments as I debated my reply. “Magic can most certainly be used for such things,” I began, “but spellcasting is very arduous. Too much, too quickly, and one exhausts oneself. So we generally save our spells for showing off.”

Reese snorted as she assisted me into the cumbersome, low-cut gown my parents had purchased for me. When Reese tightened the strings, I realized my parents intentionally tailored it too small. Again. The bodice pushed my breasts up, and cinched against my waist. Looking in the mirror, I could imagine the High Lord and other faceless men eyeing my body as if trying to determine the best way to devour a petit four. Disgusting. 

“My turn. Why attend me?”

Reese motioned for me to sit at my vanity, and I did so. She fussed with my hair, her fingers moved precisely. I leaned into her touch.

“You made a rather big promise last night,” she said, glancing up from my braids to meet my eyes in the mirror. “I’d like to ensure you keep it.”

“You know how gossip travels,” I replied. “Have you heard anything out of the ordinary?”

Reese said nothing, and the conversation ended as she finished. I admired her work in the mirror, smiling. Seeing my satisfaction, Reese bowed. “If there is nothing else, Your Ladyship, I have other duties to attend.”

I pouted. “But you are to attend my needs, and my needs are many.”

“There are other tasks necessary to complete.”

“Oh, as if those are more important than me,” I teased with a smile. 

“I suppose not, Your Ladyship.”

“So you’ll spend the day with me? Please?” I beamed at her, taking her hand in mine. “I want to hear more about you.”

The mirror in Reese’s eyes vanished for a moment, and she ran her thumb over the back of my hand. “Is this an order, your Ladyship?”

“Only if you so wish,” I said, leaning closer to her. 

Reese thought for a moment, eyes closed. She inhaled deep, sighed, then looked up at me from under thick black lashes. Our faces were mere inches apart, and my heart beat quickly in my chest. Reese’s own face flushed minutely. 

“I so wish.”

#

Activities that were wearisome with others of my class took a new light when it was only Reese and me. Croquet was no longer about navigating social niceties and purposefully losing to stroke egos. Reese had no compulsions of holding back. A few games ended in unladylike boasting from us both. Fewer games ended in touch; I squeezed Reese’s hand or she ran her fingers over my arm as we avoided eye contact and smiled. Most ended when my parents interrupted to request I entertain various guests. My smile was a razor blade, digging into me as Reese and I assumed our roles. 

My favorite time was when we had afternoon tea together. After a week of excuses to guests and rescheduled social gatherings, we were finally alone together. She sat on a chair opposite me, picking over flaky pastry and sweet fruit. 

“Is something amiss?” I asked as she plucked at a choux bun before dropping it.

Reese shrugged. “You mingle so well with your peers, why spend time with me?”

My eyebrow quirked up, but I didn’t pry at her thoughts. “Just because I have mastered people pleasing does not mean I enjoy it.” I picked up a dessert fork and stabbed at a strawberry. “I do not have to pretend with you. And I love hearing about your travels.” Setting the strawberry aside, I sighed dreamily. “What it would be like to see the Umbradawn Desert. To smell the salt and hear the gulls off Port Zhaire.”

“Other nobles can easily accompany you.”

“Oh, yes!” I said, clapping my hands together in fake enthusiasm. “I shall be whisked from one manor to the next, not seeing a single thing I wish to.” I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they were going to fall out of my head. “Capital idea, Reese.” 

Such an answer would have received shocked gasps from my peers. Reese just laughed. I smiled at her dimples, as she took this jagged piece of myself in stride. I fancied she could accept more, perhaps all, of me.

She leaned forward, and her hand barely brushed mine. Her debate was over. “Salena.” She whispered my name like a caress. “Tomorrow is another full moon. Once it is dark, go to where we first met.”

#

The thought of sleep was laughable. The cocoon of silk and satin did nothing against the excitement of seeing Reese as a wolf once more. When the servants had retired, and the house was still, I climbed out of bed. Donning a robe and heeled boots, I went back to the woods. Given the amount of noise I made, it was a surprise she didn’t find me sooner. 

She circled me once before sitting. I held my hands out, hovering near her face. With a wolfish huff, she leaned into my touch. I petted her soft fur, laughing airily. Reese nosed my face. 

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered. 

Reese moved away, and crouched on her haunches. She whined, a questioning tone, and glanced from her back to me. 

There was no hesitation as I climbed. 

Reese yelped, and I muttered gentle apologies as I removed my boots. Once settled, Reese rose slowly. All at once, she ran. 

She darted through the dark woods, nimble and silent as the wind. Her muscles flexed under me, and my legs tightened against her. Bounding from ground to jutting boulder, dodging trees, and weaving through undergrowth, Reese raced for me and knew I loved it. 

My mind drifted to horseback riding, where I was confined to a circular dirt track, pacing around endlessly. The instructor commanded when to jump, trot, gallop, and stop, and I mirthlessly followed.

My robe snagged on a branch, and I raised my arms. It, and the thoughts that held me back, fell away. The cold night air nipped through the sheer nightdress, but I cared not. Reese was warm. I was free. 

Near dawn, we returned to the edge of the forest, and Reese curled around me as I stroked her muzzle, humming gently as crickets sang. Sunlight filtered through the trees, gently dappling us in a warm haze.

“Salena! Your Ladyship Salena!”

Shouts rose from the manor, breaking the peace. Reese jumped and I fell to the dirt. 

“Go. I’ll make sure they have no reason to enter.”

Bobbing her head, Reese darted back into the woods as I greeted a dozen servants and my worried parents. 

#

“High Lord Barbatus has asked for your hand in marriage.”

Reese yanked my bodice strings and I gasped loudly. My mother reflected in my mirror, pacing ecstatically. My father caught my eye and beamed. Their emotions were alien. 

“This is an amazing opportunity for you, Salena,” my father continued, “so we accepted his proposal. The High Lord requested the ceremony take place tomorrow morning.”

Flabbergasted, I spoke without thinking. “Absolutely not!”

A chill settled in the room. 

“Why not?” Mother asked. “He is a well renowned spellcaster with a proud noble line. Marrying him will not only secure the future of you and your children, but ensure our family does not fade back to obscurity.”

“He is a pig!” I shot back. “I feel nothing toward him but disgust.”

Father’s movements were always subtle. When his brows drew down into a stern line and his lips pressed together, I knew he was enraged. “I will hear no more on this,” he said evenly. “This is for your own good, and you will not abandon it because of selfishness. Am I understood?”

Immediately, I fell away from my body. A twitch of the puppet strings and my lips pulled up in an abashed smile. A turn of an invisible handle and my head bent down in appropriate submissiveness. “Of course, Father,” came the voice from my lips. “My apologies for my outburst.”

His expression softened, and Mother approached where I sat at my vanity to place her hand on mine. “You will learn to love him.” Her assurances were empty. “Hurry with your dress, now. There’s rehearsal shortly.” 

#

I am, unfortunately, exceedingly talented at being a puppet. I met the High Lord with my parents and he guffawed over his good luck at having been the first to ask for me. He took my hand, slipping on an extravagant engagement ring. Then he kissed it and left an impression of his lips in slimy saliva. I laughed coyly and cooed over the ring. 

My parents beamed self satisfaction like the summer sun. Their orders and expectations manipulated the strings on my body, and I watched from someplace far away as my flesh jerked gracefully in response. 

After we practiced giving our vows, Barbatus dove onto me, attempting to mash his lips onto my face in some poor facsimile of a kiss while his hands roamed. 

I giggled and pulled away, willing my cheeks to flush as if I were some shy little girl. “Tomorrow,” I whispered. “It will be worth the wait.”

Millennia passed before that rehearsal ended. When I came back to my body, I found myself in my room, dinner cold on my bedside table. With a strangled cry, I grabbed the table and upended the entire thing. 

#

I went back to the woods that night. Reese was there, wearing traveling clothes with a pack over her shoulder. She turned when I approached, a mirror in her gaze. “Big day tomorrow. You should be sleeping.”

“Why are you leaving?” I asked, panic-laced words falling fast from my lips. 

“Some gardeners found my footprints,” Reese responded, scuffing the ground with a boot. “It’s best I go.”

I stepped closer. “I want to go with you.”

“You wouldn’t survive out there. You only know of luxury. I’ve not had that in excess.” Reese clutched at her stump. “The world isn’t what you dream.”

“Then teach me,” I pleaded.

“Have you no loyalty to your family?”

“Does a chess piece feel loyalty to the hand that moves it?”

Reese scrunched her nose, shaking her head. “You have such an opportunity, though.”

A sneer writhed its way across my face. “Is that what you call being married to that boorish man?”

“Access to the High Lord’s resources. Status. Security. Money.” Reese threw her arms up. “You just have to stand being around him some of the time.”

“The cost is higher than that!” I cried. “Who I have to be for them is not who I am! I know you know! I know you know what it means to hide parts of yourself, to act in ways antithetical to who you truly are so you can survive. But I don’t want that to be my life! I am no puppet!”

“Sometimes survival is all we have.” The muscles in Reese’s shoulders were taut.

“I want more than survival.” I closed the gap between us and my chest fluttered when she didn’t pull away. “I want you. Wolf and all. I love you, Reese.”

Reese snorted. “Love doesn’t work like that. It takes time. Patience. Trust.” A beat. “Hard work.”

“I’m willing to work for it.” 

“I won’t fulfill all your needs.” As Reese spoke, I shifted my hip closer to her, and she rested her hand there, still and calm. “I don’t even know all your needs.”

“I only need you to respect them, as I will yours,” I whispered. “Let me come with you.”

Reese tilted her head back, giving me an assessing look. Slowly, a smile crossed her face. “Is this an order, Your Ladyship?”

I almost laughed. “Only if you so wish.”

Reese reached for my hand and placed it against her cheek. She inhaled deep and sighed.

“I so wish.”